Looking back.
I am disobeying survey rules (for purely informative and expressive purposes) and listing more than one thing under certain questions.
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
A fuckton. Did too many interviews, sent out too many job applications, worked retail. Learned the dismissive rage of the customer and the quiet rage of the manager. Wrote a centerfold. Visited a closed AIDS center. Ran a journalism class. Sold ads. 2380. Pokemon Emerald. Very many unmentionable things. Got lost in downtown L.A., got whistled at, jumped on a bus without knowing where to stop, went to a book signing. Watched certain films. Shook hands with Frank Warren. Flew on a plane alone. Went to Oregon. Wore a jacket over a jacket over a shirt over a shirt over a bra. [It was cold.] Walked for Down's. Hugged.
Said things that've never been said before [Chomsky: "but the manner in which the principles of generation are used is free and infinitely varied."] Went entire days without writing. Exercised regularly [summer]. Baked 100+ cookies. Made a juicy turkey. Used my own cell phone.
There are too many fucking things to list.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I went digging for my resolutions. 2005 I made good ones and fulfilled them.
- "take chances." Yes.
- "write." Not enough.
- "not give up." Yes.
- "learn." Yes. Not enough.
- "talk to mother/father." Yes. Unfortunately.
- "keep healthy." Not in December. But yes.
- "stay sane." Yes.
- "and ultimately: learn how to avoid cynicism." It's been hard this month. Not enough.
Next year is the same goal with circumstantial variants, including adjustments for college.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Almost.
5. What countries did you visit? The vast expanse of intellectual drought. Somehow I must visit year after year, even though it's really rather unpleasant there.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
A college to attend. A better job. A life with who I want to spend it with. Time. Freedom, honesty, transparency. More strength.
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I'm sorry. I generally don't remember dates. But Christmas Day, and not for holiday reasons.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Job, 2380, learning how to bullshit and deceive. The last one is unfortunately essential.
9. What was your biggest failure? Getting caught. Having deficient negotiating powers. Printing Nov/06 two weeks late. Not writing my college essays as I'd planned. Not exercising this month. Still being insecure.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing big. Chronic daily headache, major clinical depression.
11. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Alice, Brandon, John, Mr. Ontiveros, Mr. Ramirez, Mr. Viramontes.
12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? If you really want to know, ask.
13. Where did most of your money go? Gifts. Essentials.
14. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Meeting. Giving. Talking. Thinking. :)
15. What song will always remind you of 2006? None.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
16. Happier or sadder? More content, less happy, and just as sad.
17. Thinner or fatter? The same. This year, patterns of weight fluctuation differed, but boundaries did not. Thankfully.
18. Richer or poorer?
Richer in gratitude, love, connection, knowledge, and material wealth.
19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Told myself to be happy. Wrote. Exercised. Read. Expressed emotion.
20. What do you wish you'd done less of? Told myself I was upset. Ate. Experimented with disappointing games. Pushed my mother away.
21. How did you spend Christmas? Thinking about someone in the hospital. Reluctantly followed my parents to strange houses in San Jose. Listening to By the Way in my cousin's clean, dark living room, next to a flashing Christmas tree.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006? I fell in love in 2005.
23. How many one-night stands? Please use your imagination to answer this question.
24. What was your favorite TV program? None.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No.
26. What was the best book you read? I don't do superlatives. As I Lay Dying, Wise Blood, Pnin.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Rediscovering Muse. Belle & Sebastian, Regina Spektor.
28. What did you want and get? Job, 2380. Meeting. Comfort, love.
29. What did you want and not get? This is essentially #6.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? Unanswerable.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I ate carrot cake and turned 16.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Honesty and transparency. The sudden, inexplicable, irreplacable disappearance of AP Government at Oxford.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? I didn't have one.
34. What kept you sane?
Alice, Brandon, John, Mr. Ontiveros, Mr. Ramirez, Mr. Viramontes. Meeting. Giving. Talking. Thinking. Addictions--reading, writing, Pokemon Emerald, point and clicks, Internet rounds [kottke, dooce, metafilter, NYtimes, Gmail, Yahoo!, juno. cockeyed, explodingdog] , Sunday rituals [PostSecret, pbf, LA Times: Front Page, Business, California, Comics I, Comics II, West, Parade].
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? None.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Invisible Children, gay rights, abuse, disabled rights. Practically any health or science-related issue.
37. Who did you miss? Brandon.
38. Who was the best new person you met? No superlatives, especially in reference to people.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
I didn't. Someone told me this: "But certainly you are cultivating a more abundant, fuller life even in the course of suffering."
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
This is not an accurate sum, but an important facet.
"I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music
And it breaks my heart"
- "Fidelity," Regina Spektor
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On another note, addictions are indeed, wonderful.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
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