Women & Weight, II

The problem with the assumptions I detailed in the previous post are not simple to pick out. Of course there is some correlation between weight and attractiveness--it is not the sole factor, nor is it something that ought to go to either extreme, but few modern societies idolize the overweight woman. (I don't mean unskinny, I mean overweight.) And sexuality is something deeply ingrained in us--I don't believe that through some process of socialization, women could eradicate their tendency to intertwine love and sex. It's important to note, though, that men who have sex with you don't automatically love you.

So where to pinpoint the problem?

It lies in self-esteem, and self-validation. Without love or security, women may often feel as if the only way to garner universal respect and love lies in the power of her sexuality and her attractiveness. And thinness, of course, is the most accessible avenue to attractiveness--it is something she can control, and something she can constantly struggle against. Of course she wants a constant struggle: this means she is fighting against her worthlessness all the time, that instead of confronting a need for comfort and care, she can simply hate her body. Hating your body is much easier than going through the humbling process of realizing you have emotions that must be fulfilled, and tempered.

The solution? The only way out lies in identifying real avenues for self-validation. Mostly that the only permanent ones are seated within oneself--internal, rather than external validation. The one path I can see to pursuing this is to do things you truly, fully respect--self-improve, without throwing yourself into a cycle of self-deprecation and hatred. (Hint: hating yourself is not improvement.) If you respect ultra-thin women for their painful ability to eat nothing, you need to really think about your moral system and revise it.

When you respect yourself, others will respect you, and love you with respect.