2008.

A little late, I know, but I finally worked up the courage to face the new year. So here I am filling out the same survey again.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Camped at Joshua Tree. Slept with my love for a week straight. Twice. Got punched in the face and scared shitless while naked. Finished an entire year of college. Got an internship. Lived on my own for 2.5 months. Got propositioned while standing at a bus stop in plain clothes. Trusted a stranger on a plane and regretted the intense connection. Ate peanut butter out of the jar for a week. Gained enough weight to donate blood, but was denied because of antibiotics. Developed an allergy to insect bites. Tried 20 different kinds of fried foods. Stained my feet with flea bites. Published an article in a cancer magazine. Worked in a sushi restaurant. Did official work on a website. Interviewed real doctors over the phone. Pitched a real article idea. Visited a professor during his office hours more than once. Cried for three hours while trying to write an essay late at night. Spoke fluent Spanish. Flayed open an earthworm and coaxed an action potential from his giant axon. Confronted a friend, and lived. Mushrooms and infinite hands. Saw the Toadies. Realized how love, love, love anchors life.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I learned how to better negotiate and tolerate my mother and father, especially after a summer living alone. It was much easier to appreciate everything they did for me--because they knew how hard it was to do it for themselves. I also think that cynicism is no longer a question for me. The relentless optimist in me is indestructible.
But I am going to reformulate my old resolutions now. I had a life-changing year.
Remember that you are worthy. Remember that you are capable. Be healthy, breathe, and remember that academia does not determine your life. Take advantage of the sweet, beautiful moments of life that make it worthwhile. Do what you truly love.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.
4. Did anyone close to you die? No, but two grandfathers did die.
5. What countries did you visit? None. Vietnam should be up, winter 2009.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
I have to restrain myself from listing too much. I would like: self-confidence, peace, companionship, and academic direction.
Strange how my goals have changed so much. I no longer need more freedom--I have achieved its bittersweetness--and financial independence is impossible. Solidness would be nice, though.
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 3/15. Old man, you're right--I will never forget that conversation.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving a tough challenge, and having the resilience to begin my kickass recovery.
9. What was your biggest failure? Doubting too much.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Insect bite allergies.
11. Whose behavior merited celebration? Brandon. Alice. Siblings. Father. Mother. Simone and mother and brothers. Adam. George. Joy. Stewart. Nana. Jas. Random Carleton College roommate. Women across the street from the fire station. CR survivors.
12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Levin. Fat Jewish asshole. Father-aged near the post office, dick in the red car, Chisom, Chris, smelly Haverford kid.
13. Where did most of your money go? Books. Food. Essentials.
14. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Brandon! Cleanliness! Food! (I am a base creature.) Also, skepticism.
15. What song will always remind you of 2008? "Lagrimas Negras" by Bebo y Cigala and "Elephant Gun" by Beirut.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
16. Happier or sadder? Perhaps just as discontented. But sadder. This is temporary, trust me.
17. Thinner or fatter? The same, surprisingly.
18. Richer or poorer? Richer in experience and wisdom.
19. What do you wish you'd done more of? Set boundaries. Stood up for myself. Enjoyed.
20. What do you wish you'd done less of? Doubted. Avoided people.
21. How did you spend Christmas? Constructed a 500-piece puzzle with my sister in one day.
22. Did you fall in love in 2008? I fell in love a long time ago. But I fall in love again, all the time.
23. How many one-night stands? None.
24. What was your favorite TV program? Not sure. I cycle through them.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I hate fewer people now.
26. What was the best book you read? Am reading Ada, or Ardor: A Family Chronicle.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Beirut and Latin music.
28. What did you want and get? Independence.
29. What did you want and not get? Fearlessness.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I opened presents that week in my dorm room, including a beautiful poster of the universe. I ate cake with my hall and folded a dollar bill into a penis. 18.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I don't know. Too many choices.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? Conscious of the weather (cold) and the stains on my feet.
34. What kept you sane? Diane/CAPS. Brandon. Neena. Distraction from brooding.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I don't fancy.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Obama, Obama, Obama.
37. Who did you miss? Brandon, clearly. And family.
38. Who was the best new person you met? Scott Gilbert.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008: Home welcomes us.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Clavo mi remo en el agua
Llevo tu remo en el mío
Creo que he visto una luz
al otro lado del río
...
Oigo una voz que me llama
casi un suspiro
Rema, rema, rema
Rema, rema, rema"