2009.

I contemplated finding a different survey, but I've already gotten so used to making this one meaningful. It also allows me to figure out where I started 2009.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Experienced new, intense, incredible sensations (synaesthesia). Strengthened many valuable friendships, to the point where I felt loved and cared about in two places at once. To the point where I always had someone to call. Blowjob solo. Successfully finished the hardest course I've ever taken: dissected fly brains, read about 70 scientific papers, proposed research, taught for three hours. Finally conquered debilitating body image issues by flinging my mind into the middle of nowhere. Visited Alabama, shot a gun, ate at a fried catfish restaurant, picked up a deer skull. Knit a grey hat and a dissected frog; sewed a full skirt. Programmed for hours, hiked up to the Griffith observatory. Really appreciated what my body could do, and demanded more. Attended NECSS and shook hands with Steven Novella. Improved my self and my well-being--with less and less contact with my family.>

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I handled academia--with intensity and fervor--while allowing myself an appropriate margin of rest and self-care. I made connections with people and realized how necessary and nourishing it is. I appreciate the beautiful moments in life that make it worthwhile...though I could do so more often. With more time.
More resolutions.
Be strong, and hold your ground. Speak your mind and do not apologize for speaking, or for thinking. Remember that you are not only capable, but extraordinary and worthwhile.
And of course: do what you truly love.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.
4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thankfully. What will that be like?
5. What countries did you visit? None. Not Vietnam, either.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
I'm rather pleased to say that I have achieved everything I wanted in 2009, except perhaps peace. In 2010, I would like a good relationship with my family. Whether my family is the one I was born into or not is something to be determined. I would also like to spend more time with the man I love.
7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Oh gosh, no specific dates. Though there are some very clear days in my memories.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I can't decide whether it's in academics, friendships, or personal fortitude. To be honest, I think my biggest achievement is being able to take pride in what I do.
9. What was your biggest failure? Managing my emotional life. There was no significant aesthetic engagement, and almost nothing approaching spirituality. Usually I toe the line just to satisfy the little craving that I have.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Insect bite allergies are worse, but manageable. A few more migraines.
11. Whose behavior merited celebration? Brandon. Yen, Thy, An. Omer.
12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? A certain cousin. My father. Some ignorant conservatives, and liberals.
13. Where did most of your money go? Books. Food. Essentials.
14. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Baking! Zoe! Sleep! Knitting! Seeing Brandon!
15. What song will always remind you of 2009? Stan Getz - It Never & Getz/Gilberto - Corcovado

Compared to this time last year, are you:
16. Happier or sadder? Happier, finally!
17. Thinner or fatter? The same, or slightly thinner. Fitter, certainly.
18. Richer or poorer? Richer in many, many ways.
19. What do you wish you'd done more of? Loved, loved, loved. Wrote journal entries and letters.
20. What do you wish you'd done less of? Agonized, or worried.
21. How did you spend Christmas? Cooking lunch for family, after being visited by a fairy bearing gifts. Then watched Avatar at the theaters.
22. Did you fall in love in 2009? I fell in love a long time ago. This year I developed a ridiculous infatuation that confused me greatly. And right afterward I fell in love again with the same incredible man.
23. How many one-night stands? Cero.
24. What was your favorite TV program? Ooh, 30 Rock and Arrested Development.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No
26. What was the best book you read? I didn't read very many.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? The saxophone and The Sound. Oh myyyyy.
28. What did you want and get? Self-respect.
29. What did you want and not get? Enjoyable family life.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? Fuck, I watched so few recent movies that it's not worth deciding.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I had friends over in my single dorm room. Amy baked chocolate cupcakes and we ordered wings. It made me feel loved and appreciated, for the first time in a while.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Brandon, by my side. No question.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Exploratory.
34. What kept you sane? Stan Getz, Zoe, seminar folks, exercise.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Padma Lakshmi.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Healthcare.
37. Who did you miss? Alice and Brandon. Simone, Justin, Kyle, and my brother, who never calls.
38. Who was the best new person you met? It's hard to meet actually new people at a small school.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009: Exercise balances everything out.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
This is giving me a difficult time, so I'm just going with this one.

"The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the mire
Try now we can only lose
And our love become a funeral pyre
Come on baby, light my fire."